Since she stopped comparing herself with others and started to lead her own life, Lucy Sheridan hasn’t looked back. Now she shares her insights with others, online and in a new book. Cityscape caught up with the UK author and ‘comparison coach’.

So how did you come to be the world’s only comparison coach? Comparison has always been part of my life since I was young. I compared myself often in lots of ways and it has been as exhausting as it sounds. In my late 20s I decided I had finally had enough and committed to exploring the root cause of my toxic habit. This led me first to the self-help aisle of the bookshop, then to psychology videos on YouTube and then progressed more seriously into me exploring my own coaching training. Through this process I was able to create a set of tools and techniques to massively reduce comparison and I decided to go ‘all in’ six years ago when I decided to dedicate my work life to it.

What do you do? Currently my time is divided into supporting private one-to-one clients and I also have a group coaching programme starting in a few months. Alongside these services I give workshops, talks in schools and produce lots of free content for social media to help people get over comparison in their own lives.

What did you do before you started on this path? I used to work in the corporate world – more specifically, the advertising industry. Tell us about the moment you decided to stop comparing? It was a bit grizzly really – I was scrolling my phone, fully dressed under a duvet on a perfectly lovely Saturday afternoon. My phone died and I realised I had lost hours of the day (AGAIN!) just judging myself against others and it struck me that this sort of behaviour just had to stop. It was getting me nowhere and it finally became too much.

Are you completely cured, or do you lapse occasionally? I find that my comparison comes in peaks and troughs, and I know that an episode is over when I see or hear about someone that might trigger my comparison and I just don’t care. So, instead of feeling envy or self-judgement, I just feel completely neutral – it’s very low key but it feels like freedom.

When did you realise your story would be relevant to other people? It was a case of following clues – I noticed when I started talking about my own comparison on very early blogs, and even conversations at the pub with friends, it stimulated discussion. Everyone seemed to have their own story and experience and yet back then it felt a bit taboo. Thankfully this isn’t the case so much anymore but I committed to following the clues and the signs of resonance to try and help people feel less alone.

How important were your appearances on Oprah’s Life Class to framing your ideas? They really played a part – it made me realise the opportunity to make a difference and gave me the confidence to take my ideas more seriously.

You must be excited about your book The Comparison Cure coming out? How long have you been working on it? Goodness yes! It has been brewing for a couple of years but I decided to take it seriously at the beginning of 2018 and pitched to the agent I really respected. From there the proposal was written and approved and I found my dream publisher. Things moved quickly from there and I wrote the first draft between January and April this year in order to prepare for a UK publication date of December 26.

Why Boxing Day? Is that to avoid comparison with other books in the pre-Chrismas deluge? The festive period is such a source of comparison triggers and with the new year signalling a new start for so many of us, I hope with a Boxing Day publication date the book becomes a source of help and guidance as we come out of the intense December period.

You also run online courses – tell us about them? I love these online forums – they range from one-off sessions to more structured, three-month programmes. To give an example, my #comparisonfree classrooms are two-hour coaching sessions based on a theme, such as how to gain more focus. People can buy a ticket to join me online for the teaching, and guests join from all over the world. Typically I welcome around 150 guests from places such as Alaska, Spain, Sweden and New Zealand – it’s a real mix!

Is there a particular book or author that has inspired you in your life or career? I think The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks is a standout text for me, to the point that I include it in the welcome pack for all new clients as I believe the mindset shifts the author teaches are incredibly powerful. I go back to my well-worn book or audio file about every nine months or so and it gives me something new to help my growth each time.

What’s the best and worst thing about what you do? The best thing is when I get an email from a past client filling me in on how they are getting on with their goals and how happy they are staying in their own lane. The worst thing is time management challenges – I am based in the UK and if I have a client in New Zealand this can mean a very early session time, and if I have a client in the US on the same day this can mean a very late session time! Sometimes I have to go for a nap in the afternoon.

What has been the most surreal moment in your career/life to date? Definitely being on Oprah’s Life Class – I still think back and wonder ‘Did that actually happen?’.

What advice would you give to your younger self? Trust the timing of your life – my comparison has often been triggered by feeling behind other people or late to the party, when in fact events and developments have unfolded perfectly for me and my own life.

Lucy Sheridan’s book The Comparison Cure goes on sale on December 26.

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